The Bookwyrm's Review of Pain Killer: A Memoir of Big League Addiction by Brantt Myhres

Author: Brant Myhres

Length: 316 Pages/ 10 Hours, 49 Minutes (Audio)

Publisher: Viking

Release Date: February 16, 2021

Genre: Autobiography

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"This book is at times startling, yet very real and down to earth . . . I saw [Brantt] in all phases of his life and his career. I consider him a friend and an ally. Pain Killer sends a strong message." --Darryl Sutter, former NHL player, coach, and GM

SYNOPSIS

From the only player to be banned for life from the NHL, a harrowing tale of addiction, and an astonishing path to recovery.

Brantt Myhres wasn't around for the birth of his daughter. Myhres had played for seven different NHL teams, and had made millions. But he'd been suspended four times, all for drug use, and he had partied his way out of the league. By the time his daughter was born, he was penniless, sleeping on a friend's couch. He'd just been released from police custody. He had a choice between sticking around for the birth, or showing up for league-mandated rehab. He went to rehab. For the fifth time.

This is his story, in his own words, of how he fought his way out of minor hockey into the big league, but never left behind the ghosts of a bleak and troubled childhood. He tells the story of discovering booze as a way of handling the anxiety of fighting, and of the thrill of cocaine. In the raw language of the locker room, he tells of how substance abuse poisoned the love he had in his life and sabotaged a great career. Full of stories of week-long benders, stripper-filled hot tubs, motorcycle crashes, and barroom brawls, Pain Killer is at its most powerful when Myhres acknowledges how he let himself down, and betrayed those who trusted him. Again and again, he fools the executives and doctors who gave him a second chance, then a third, then a fourth, and with each betrayal, he spirals further downward.

But finally, on the eve of his daughter's birth, when all the money was gone, every bridge burnt, and every opportunity squandered, he was given a last chance. And this time, it worked.

It worked so well, that not only has he been around for his daughter for the past eleven years, in 2015 he was signed by the LA Kings as a "sober coach": a guy who'd been there, a guy who could recognize and help solve problems before they ruined lives and made headlines (as the Kings had seen happen three times that season). Not only did Myhres save himself, he saved others.

Unpolished, unpretentious, and unflinching, Myhres tells it like it is, acknowledging every mistake, and painting a portrait of an angry, violent, dangerous man caught in the vice of something he couldn't control, and didn't understand. If Brantt Myhres can pull himself together, anyone can. And he does, convincingly, and inspiringly.

REVIEW

I don't review a lot of autobiographies on here, especially ones that don't have to do with Sci-Fi or Fantasy. However, I saw actor Joe Manganiello mention this book on Instagram, since he is friends with Brantt. After discovering what the book entailed, I found myself intrigued just how deep he would go into his past, considering just how bad the publicly known information was. After reading it, I can say I was shocked just how honest and open he was about demons that destroyed not only his career but a good chunk of his life as well. 

Brantt details his early life in poverty in an abusive house in rural Canada, dealing with abuse and neglect in his house until he was finally able to escape to his grandparents, and finally living with his father, who helped him develop his hockey skills, and find success in Jr. hockey. This is where we see the seeds of both his successes and failures laid down, since he had the skills to play at the highest level, and had discovered his ability to drop the gloves and fight made him a wanted commodity in a sport like hockey. We also see that this early time is where the partying starts that would lead to ruination and multiple stints in rehab.

We get an intimate view into his career, including his drafting into the NHL, and his career as an enforcer, ensuring his team's star players weren't messed with, or if they were, dishing out retribution. It's this combination of money, pro sports life, partying and pain that led to addiction that would destroy his career in a lifetime ban after he violated the league's substance abuse policy one too many times. 

We also get to see his redemption as well, as his new child and a stay in rehab that lasted months longer than he expected finally give him the incentive and tools to deal with his issues. He took those experiences in his life and used them for good, forming a hockey camp for First Nation's kids in Canada, to help give them options in life they normally wouldn't have. He then ends up as a substance abuse liaison for the LA Kings, helping players on the Kings and their farm teams deal with addiction and lifestyle issues. It seemed like a really good use of his experiences, and is quite inspirational. 

As the child of two parents with addiction issues, both of whom died from those addictions, this story hit me hard. I've seen how easy it can be to let your demons destroy you completely. I have to say, seeing just how low Brantt got, just how close to death he came, was truly saddening. His redemption was fought for just as fiercely as any fight he ever had on the ice, more so, in fact, and is truly inspiring, especially after he admitted just how close he came to falling off the wagon once again, and heading back down the path to ruin. It takes a lot of self awareness to admit this, and is all the more inspiring because of it. 

 I think this is a story that way too many people can relate to. I also think its a book that people should read and take inspiration from, seeing how even falling from such highs to such lows, that its still possible to come back from it. I think this will appeal to not only sports fans, but to people looking for a story with an uplifting journey though travails to redemption.